Conquer Climate Change Permanently

Conclusive Proof of Global Warming (Part 2) - World Cup Edition

2010-06-26T13:15:00.006+10:00

Way, way back last year, before Coopenhagen, before Tony Abbott (Boo! Hiss!), when Kevin Rudd was so popular that everything slid off him as if he was made of Teflon, and he had the most incredible "Preferred Prime Minister" stats, I posted on this site conclusive proof of Global Warming, comparing the French 1959 national team with the French 2009 team.

Scroll down for a proper look.

I've now stumbled across a picture of the French 2010 World Cup team, reproduced below (again compared with the 1959 team):

I am now totally convinced that Global Warming is getting worse. Maybe, we have reached a "Tipping Point". What do you think?

How not to attract attention....

2010-05-30T18:10:00.010+10:00

A tragic incident, where a cyclist is injured or dies as the result of a road accident. Cyclists are doing their ALL for Gaia, and if an insensitive motorist (or two) runs them over, then you have a major affront to conservation and alternate transport.

If you might be inclined to do a "hit and run" on a cyclist, then you should do so with a plain, ordinary car, like, say a white Toyota Camry:

However, the last thing you should be driving around potential witnesses is a rare British shit-box that wasn't even very popular in its hey-day, let alone this century, such as a white Triumph Dolomite:

Given that maybe 50 Australians actually bought a Dolomite in the 1970's (mostly in baby-shit yellow), and that of those 50 maybe 45 have rusted away to nothingness, that leaves Plod with 5 possible suspects. Four of those suspects have baby-shit yellow Dolomites, and one single person has a white one.

Hence, follow the investagory time-line:

http://www.abc.net.au/news/stories/2010/05/30/2913126.htm?section=justin

Thumbnail:

Money quote: "Police are looking for a white Triumph Dolomite sedan"

Next, we see the results of our prime detective's minds in action:

http://www.abc.net.au/news/stories/2010/05/30/2913189.htm?section=justin

Thumbnail:

Money quote: "Crime scene examiners have seized a Triumph from the man's home."

As you can see, if you want to run over a cyclist and get away with it, go for the white Camry.

Otherwise, you're gonna get done, Cobber!

It's official - Lizards falling from the sky!

2010-01-07T13:51:00.007+10:00

A Happy New Festivus to everyone!

Without being offensive, the Christian Bible talks about cats lying with dogs and all sorts of apocalyptic things like that at the End of Times.

We now have irrefutable scientific evidence of fauna falling from the sky, according to this Yahoo News link:

Lizards Falling - Look out below!

Money quote: "It was so cold in Florida, freezing iguanas were seen falling out of trees."

Global Warming causes precipitation, including snow. What is it about this simple concept that you Deniers just don't understand?

Deniers Lindzen and Singer confirmed shills in the pay of Big Oil!

2009-11-23T13:12:00.002+10:00

AGW deniers Richard Lindzen and S.Fred Singer have now been exposed as having received money from Big Oil.

See this American "Stinker" article.

Extraordinary that the deniers publish such admissions!

How can this be?

Here is a Solution!

2009-11-21T11:29:00.010+10:00

Given that the conservatives everywhere are trying their hardest Big Oil funded attempt to derail the Copenhagen Conference, it may be that no binding treaty will emerge from Copenhagen, and that we have mere months left to avoid a tipping-point or two.

This means that we need to think proactively about geo-engineering, in order to try to save polar bears, koalas, the Great Barrier Reef, and the poor drowning inhabitants of Tuvalu.

A Peruvian proposal for global-warming amelioration through geo-engineering recently won a World Bank award. Unfortunately, the article does not specify the quantum of the award, but you would expect it to be reasonably significant.

Here is the winning proposal from Peru.

Here is a picture of a typical rapidly retreating glacier:

First, let me introduce the Athabasca Glacier in Canada:

Carefully, note its colour. I like to call this the "Michael Jackson Glacier" - it's simply not white enough!

Next, the filthy black Franz-Josef Glacier from New Zilund:

If ever a glacier cried out for geo-engineering like the Peruvian proposal, this one needs it!

We need all of our eco-warriors out there to get themselves huge pots of white paint, and go and do something for Mother Gaia.

Please! For Gaia's sake, run out now, get your paint, and get to your nearest glacier, and START PAINTING!

We need to do this now folks, as we are fast approaching the first of many tipping-points!

Be proactive in saving the future for the poley bears' children and grandchildren. Splash that paint around, pronto!

The world will thank you for your efforts. Much better than hunger strikes, and useless gestures like that.

Fireballs of Methane erupting from the sea!

2009-11-20T10:45:00.005+10:00

In the lead up to Copenhagen COP15, I am terrified by dire predictions such as this:-

This is an actual news.com.au story.

Can you imagine? Unless we all get behind Copenhagen, we are going to have freaking great balls of fire erupting from the sea!

This is not good!

Especially if one of these freaking great balls of fire lands on a polar bear or pelican.

Conclusive Proof of Global Warming

2009-09-19T16:05:00.010+10:00

Behold! Kaboom has finally established irrefutable proof of Global Warmening.

A mere 50 year difference, during the most profligate era of carbon dioxide production.
I just love the taste of denialist tears ....... argue your propaganda around these data!

The Public Transport Myth

2009-09-18T20:54:00.013+10:00

We are all entreated by our political masters to take public transport whenever we can, to help save our fragile planet.

However, no-one truly appreciates the carbon cost of public transportation.

In the city in which I live (well, on the fringe), one has a choice of exactly three methods of "public" transport - a bus, a train, or a taxi.

Two of these are mass transit, and the other (taxi) is a sheer indulgence for intoxicated fascist business people (baby killing freaks), so I will concentrate on the mass transit aspects, bus or train.

Now, as a self-employed basket-weaver living in the ex-burbs, I simply don't like travelling to the centre of the city. However, recently I had no choice, as I had to attend a hearing in the Social Security Tribunal re cessation (and repayment!) of my unemployment benefits.

Loath as I was to travel to the Big Smoke, I was forced to do so, and of course I took mass public transit, i.e. a bus.

When I got on, there was only ONE other person on board. I paid $4.60 for the trip, so of course I wanted a bit of company, so I sat beside the other passenger, and struck up a conversation.

Unfortunately, she was not much of a conversationalist, and apparently had to get out at the next stop, and I was left ALONE in this enormous yellow metal tube.

So, I started to fret about my carbon footprint as a result of my using mass transit. Here I was, 10:30 in the morning, the only passenger on this carbon-spewing behemoth. (To be fair, I picked a Gaia friendly bus, which was running on CNG (Compressed Natural Gas), which has a far less carbon footprint than diesel buses (of which I waved two on, and it was only because I was approaching the hour of my appearance before the Social Security Tribunal that I flagged down the next bus, which, Praise Gaia, was a CNG bus).

As I craved human company during my long journey, I attempted to strike up a conversation with the Captain of this behemoth, but as I could not speak Farsi, and he could not speak English or Green, the conversation was doomed to failure.

To cut a long story short, I ended up doing a bit of research, and discovered that the carbon footprint of each bus was simply enormous.

See this link for a myth-busting approval of CNG buses from the worthy warriors at Clean Cities.

However, the green-ness of a bus depends solely upon the NUMBER OF PASSENGERS!

When this enormous yellow behemoth was driving me around like the Princess of Wales (it was a Mercedes Benz, after all), I was the only one on board, and OF COURSE the carbon produced in order to transport my skinny body around was significant.

It is precisely the same shit with trains, but on a worse scale! These (eerily, also Caterpillar Yellow) monstrosities do not even attempt to run on anything as as Gaia-friendly as CNG (Compressed Natural Gas).

No, these puppies run on electrickery, produced by Gaia-raping coal-fired power stations. So, I thought to myself, what if I am the only passenger on a train???

Bugger me! I have heard that people don't want to use mass transit systems because of swarthy youths of Middle Eastern appearance setting fire to seats, harassing passengers, and occasionally sitting alone in an oversized trench-coat sweating furiously and mumbling prayers to Allah. What abject nonsense!

What we need to do is ensure that mass transit is fully utilised, otherwise like my lone journey into the Social Security Tribunal, it creates an enormous carbon footprint. We need to ensure that each mass transit unit (MTU) is filled to capacity, and the only way to effectively achieve this is to reduce the number of services.

I firmly hold the opinion that if we reduced the number of MTU's, each remaining MTU would be far more greenhouse efficient, with increased capacity. It would be cheaper for public transit authorities, who could spend left-over funds on decorative woven baskets or somesuch.

This is a radical viewpoint, but came about just thinking about under-utilisation of mass transit facilities. Maybe I can ferment a political movement on this basis, as my comrades of the left, and indeed the Greens, seem hell-bent upon INCREASING mass transit, at a time we should be DECREASING its availability!

Tsunamis, earthquakes, volcanoes - linked to Global Warming!

2009-09-09T19:14:00.008+10:00

What a disaster for the deniers!

The Guardian has published a peer-reviewed scientific consensus article, which proves that unrestrained fossil-fuel combustion is not only going to turn the Earth into a fiery Hell, but subject those who might survive to the very worst of so-called "natural" disasters, like earthquakes, tsunamis, volcanoes and the suchlike.

This is the first time that a positive link has been established between such horrible disasters, and Global Warming.

Money quote, from Professors Bill McGuire and David "Gomer" Pyle:

"Not only are the oceans and atmosphere conspiring against us, bringing baking temperatures, more powerful storms and floods, but the crust beneath our feet seems likely to join in too," said Professor Bill McGuire, director of the Benfield Hazard Research Centre, at University College London (UCL).

Professor McGuire, the best-selling author of "Seven Years to Save the Word", first published 1991, is a leading scientific thinker:

In ‘Seven Years to Save the Planet: The Questions … and Answers’ (Weidenfeld & Nicolson), Professor McGuire asserts that for the first time in the history of the Earth one species has grown so numerous and so technologically powerful that it has the ability to destabilize the narrow range of temperature within which life can flourish: “Ours is the guilty generation, but we will only just begin to feel the consequences of our actions; it is our children and grandchildren who will reap the whirlwind.”

Professor McGuire, a leading scientist at the cutting edge of natural hazard prediction and the impacts of climate change, reveals the reasons why humanity cannot afford to wait, among them:

slashing greenhouse gas emissions by 90 percent by mid-century may still not stave off climate chaos

carbon dioxide levels are rising four times faster than in the 1990s

warmer oceans have already driven up Atlantic hurricane activity by 40% since the mid-1990s

the annual number of major floods has shot up from around 100 in the early 1990s to nearer 250 in recent years

the United Nations identifies 158 flashpoints where wars could be fought over increasingly precious water resources

even a 1m sea-level rise will threaten the homes of a billion people and put one third of the world’s farmland at risk

by 2050, a quarter of the world’s land animals and plants could be extinct.

Professor McGuire says: “This book is a call to arms. We have time still to halt and reverse the process. However we need to throw our engines into reverse now to have any chance of controlling our carbon emissions and winning the battle against dangerous climate change and potential environmental catastrophe.”

"Maybe the Earth is trying to tell us something," added McGuire, who is one of the organisers of UCL's Climate Forcing of Geological Hazards conference, which will open on 15 September. Some of the key evidence to be presented at the conference will come from studies of past volcanic activity.

These indicate that when ice sheets disappear the number of eruptions increases, said Professor David "Gomer" Pyle, of Oxford University's earth sciences department.

The Earth is indeed trying to tell us something.

Reducing a Carbon Footprint

2009-08-28T21:36:00.012+10:00

This week we the World became aware of the sad death of the "Lion of Liberalism", Senator Ted Kennedy.

We are now all saying to each other: "Do you remember where you were when you heard that Kennedy died?"

Whilst we are all grieving, let us not forget Mary Jo Kopechne, who gave up her Carbon Footprint well before it became fashionable, as a 28 year old in 1969.

Had Mary Jo not gifted the world with her martyrdom, and she was still alive 40 years later, she would have exhaled half a kilogram of CO2 per day, every day, a total of 7.3 extra tonnes of CO2.

That is just BREATHING. Let's look at BREEDING, shall we?

Mary Jo, as a rambunctious 28 year old, would no doubt have soon married money (given the circles she moved in), and you would expect that she would have sealed the deal by producing progeny quicker than the Princess of Wales. Plus, she had an absolutely shithouse surname, which brings up all sorts of potential Polack jokes/comments.

Not the same if your surname was "Spencer", or something similar.

No, Mary Jo would have been spitting them out like Guinea-Pigs. From a purely prosiac Catholic perspective (it was the 1960's, after all..) you would have expected her to proginate four or five little Kenn... ahh, sorry, four or five little Kiddies,, in very short order.

So, Mary Jo's sacrifice, in removing herself from the gene-pool permanently, meant that four or five little kiddies weren't exhaling CO2 for the last 40 years. Let's round the savings to 30 tonnes of CO2.

Don't forget, that's just exhalation of breath - we haven't even started on lifestyle carbon footprints!

Ah! The lifestyle! It would have been Camelot, had Mary Jo not ended up as the Lady in the Lake.

Without delving into the sordid carbon detail of the Lifestyles of the Rich and Disgusting, you would certainly have expected the last 40 years to have brought:

1. Above average use of aircraft (although propellor driven aircraft would have been a no-no);

2. Above average use of automobiles, especially the SUV death machine style - indeed, the strength and structural rigidity of the Oldsmobile Delta 88 would have been the precursor of automobile choice;

3. Larger than average homes, in Florida, Hyannis Port, Chappaquiddick, the former Soviet Union, California, Washington, Jamaica and Brazil would have a multiplication effect;

4. Modelling tells us that Mary Jo and each of her 4 children would produce in excess of 45 tonnes of CO2, each, per annum, for the last 40 years, a total of 45x5x40 or 9,000 tonnes of CO2.

Mary Jo, we thank you for your sacrifice. As did the Teddster:

African nations selling themselves short!

2009-08-25T18:22:00.022+10:00

African nations (well, 10 of them) have banded together for the Coopenhagen conference later this year, which selects a fresh AGW protocol as a replacement for the toothless Kyoto Protocol.

These brave African nations are, however, selling themselves grossly short, by only demanding $67 billion (AUD?) dollars per year as climate reaparations from the polluters of the West. See:

http://www.abc.net.au/news/stories/2009/08/25/2666498.htm?section=justin

Only 67 lousy billion dollars per annum? Who can we get to administer the spreading of this largesse, I wonder? Let's ask an Emminent Person, like former Prime Minister of Australia, Malcolm Fraser:

"I reckon that His Excellency President Field-Marshall Robert Mugabe is the One!"

OK, let's see whether Bob wants the job. Bob is well known for his economics, and ability to spend money wisely.

We need to assuage our collective responsibility to these poor Africans, suffering droughts, hurricanes, snow, rising sea levels, melting glaciers, and everything else that we polluters in the West are liable to account for. His Excellency, Mr Mugabe, is an excellent choice to administer the fund!

"Hey, Kuffir! I want a new Mercedes Benz! The old one has seen better days, and if I'm going to be a Big Wheel in distributing the environmental reparations, I need a better image!"

"Just look at what I have to put up with! You Kuffirs just don't appreciate how important image is to a Big Man in Africa!"

"In fact, this old one is so environmentally unsound, I was thinking of trading it in Cousin Obama's "Cash-for-Clumkers" program."

"Can you guys help me out here?"

Let's all get together, and make sure Bob gets the limousine that he really, truly deserves.

Perhaps a hybrid?

I mean, it's only $67 billion. Per year.

The poor of Africa are bearing the brunt of the evil West's profligate burning of fossil fuels, so we really need to get behind this notion of reparations.

$67 billion per year is just small change, when you look at the Wall Street bail-outs. Seriously small change, and I'm almost embarassed to put that into the collection plate this Sunday.

Surely we can band together, and help these climate-dispossessed Africans?

Quelle Horreur! French Wine and Salmon to be wiped out!

2009-08-19T07:09:00.005+10:00

In a savage blow to the middle-class and latte-sipping LandCruiser driving Doctor's wives, French wine is likely to be no more due to Global Warming:
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/foodanddrink/wine/6040419/Best-wines-will-come-from-Scotland-if-climate-change-is-not-stopped-French-chefs-say.html?FORM=ZZNR
In a further climate disaster, billions of red Sockeye Salmon, (a perfect accompanyment to a cheeky French Chardonnay) have literally disappeared. Yep, you guessed it - Global Warming:
http://www.abc.net.au/news/stories/2009/08/14/2656194.htm?site=news
Not only are the poor and dispossessed having their lifestyles threatened by Global Warming, but so too are the polluters themselves.

Time to wake up! We need to stop climate change now!

What happens when your prayers are answered?

2009-08-08T18:27:00.016+10:00

The good burghers of the villages of Fieschertal and Fiesch in the Swiss Alps had a problem in 1678 - their local glacier (the Aletsch Glacier) had grown so large, that it entered a lake, pushed out the water, and caused flooding of their homes.

At that point, they started praying that the Aletsch Glacier would recede, and no longer invade the lake. In 1862, they started holding an annual procession, with all of the enlightened accoutrements (sacrificing virgins, paying the local priests etc), to ensure that the glacier would retreat, and not cause them harm.

It appears that the praying and paying worked out for these villagers, as the Aletsch Glacier has in fact been receding since 1862, as a result of man-made emissions of the death gas, carbon dioxide, from the burning of fossil fuels, which commenced in earnest at approximately that time.

The trouble with prayers, though, is that sometimes they are answered. Like for the Lederhosen-clad folk of Fieschertal and Fiesch, for instance.

Since the inauguration of their annual parade in 1862, the glacier has been shrinking, answering their prayers by Divine Intervention. The burghers have been happy, and continued with their annual God-bothering festival for the last 147 years. However........

It appears that the good burghers have finally realised that their prayers have worked only too well, and now they are seeking an audience with the Pope, for authorisation to change the focus of their annual festival from shrinking the glacier, to praying that it grows.

See link from Reuters.

So, what exactly is going to happen when they meet with Joseph Alois Ratzinger, current occupant of the Papal See, and noted climatologist?

Kaboom is running 29 different political/societal computer models, all of which have various outcomes in terms of the stock market, and the winner of the sixth at Randwick. However, by way of consensus algorithms, Kaboom's models can indeed predict the most likely outcome:

So, as I understand, you have been praying to the Big Fella for 147 years, that this glacier would shrink?

And now, you come to me, seeking permission to change the OUTCOME sought from your prayers, that the glacier does not shrink, but in fact grows. Have I got this part correct?

Hmmmmm...... you do realise, of course, that you villagers have proof positive that prayers can be answered?

OK, look, before I, um.... pontificate on this issue, I've just got to tackle something simple, like, umm... the recent outbreak of The Troubles in Northern Ireland. Let me get back to you, hey?

Bugger that!

Denialist scientists blame the Sun!

2009-08-08T13:09:00.007+10:00

The shills for Big Oil, the turncoat so-called "scientists" blame the Sun, rather than carbon-dioxide and the unremitting use of fossil fuels, in the Earth's heating process.

We all know that the death gas, carbon dioxide, has caused all of the heating of the atmosphere and seas since the Industrial Revolution (and remember the gross pollution and child slavery that wonderful event brought us!), yet these "scientists" propose the deployment of 1,900 wind-powered ships to pump clouds into the atmosphere, in order to deflect sunlight.

See link, and especially note the picture: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/earth/environment/globalwarming/5987229/Cloud-ship-scheme-to-deflect-the-suns-rays-is-favourite-to-cut-global-warming.html
"Wind powered"? I can't see a single bloody sail, can you?

These clowns deny the effect of not curtailing mankind's profligate use of fossil fuels, and are playing God with our children's future.

There is no alternative but to reduce carbon dioxide emissions to zero by 2020 at the latest, otherwise we will reach a tipping point of runaway global warming or cooling.

Schemes like this only derogate from the pressing need to completely curtail carbon emissions, and are likely to be clutched at by ignorant voters as a panacea to all problems.

Kaboom is completely disgusted by the sell-out by these denialist "scientists".

50,000 new Green jobs!

2009-08-02T09:56:00.010+10:00

Our Dear Leader, Kevin Rudd P.M., has unveiled a plan to create more than 50,000 new Green jobs:

http://www.abc.net.au/news/stories/2009/07/30/2640728.htm?section=justin

"The new $94 million jobs package will be made up of around 30,000 trainee and apprentice positions concentrating on "green skills" in building and construction; 10,000 jobs in a new National Green Jobs Corp; 6,000 local green jobs through the jobs fund, and the 4,000 people already working in the housing insulation program."

"The climate change sceptics constantly scare-monger about the possible loss of jobs through the transition of a lower carbon economy," he said.

"But they constantly fail to talk about the new clean energy jobs of the future which will arise from the introduction of the Carbon Pollution Reduction Scheme."

As always, Kaboom stands ready to help Dear Leader save our planet. Here, Kaboom "value-adds" the jobs potential of the Green Revolution five-fold, by a simple example:

Behold! Kaboom's "Greenshaw"!

The concept is both simple and elegant (as usual), and the five-fold employment opportunities are as follows:-

When the petrol runs out because of Peak Oil, or because it has become so expensive that no-one besides environmental consultants can afford it, there will be millions of useless old "clunkers" (like the MINI Cooper S shown above) lying around rusting. Not only that, but there will be billions of people walking to work. The first employment opportunity will be for someone to cut these hulks of a past epoch in half, using carbon-friendly tools such as a hack-saw.
Next, someone will be employed to smooth off the rough hacksawed edges, fabricate by hand the steps, and ensure that the end product meets all necessary safety requirements.
Another person will be employed to remove the air-bags from the old clunkers, and insert these devices into the rear compartments used for the Greenshaw.
Another person will be employed to hand fabricate (using recycled materials, NOT wood) the carrying frame of the Greenshaw.
Finally, and most importantly, someone with the innate strength and green-savvy to pull the Greenshaw.

As you can see, by using a bit of Green ingenuity, we can massively redeploy employment to cure major social problems of (1) unwanted cars, (2) people having to walk, and (3) unemployment.

As we greenies like to say, "A win-win situation!"

Bigfoot threatened by Global Warming

2009-08-02T09:13:00.006+10:00

My colleagues at EcoWorldly have recently reported that Bigfoot will lose a portion of its existing natural habitat, and will be forced to move north as the planet warms to Hell:

http://ecoworldly.com/2009/07/25/study-suggests-global-warming-bad-news-for-bigfoot/

It is climate-induced species migration which brings home to us all how much mankind is affecting all of Gaia's little creatures. Just contemplate the sad look on Bigfoot's face:

Coopenhagen CANNOT be delayed any further! Stop Climate Change now!

Happy Invasion Day

2009-01-26T14:06:00.001+10:00

Yes, take a day off work, and celebrate with sinking piss and beating up on innocent bomb-makers and basket-weavers, you racist bastards.

A Very Cunning Plan

2009-01-26T12:31:00.006+10:00

I have been a bit remiss in posting recently, after seeing how every Google Search request causes another Polar Bear to die, I thought it important to limit my internetwebthingy exposure.

However, I have (during this period of enforced abstinance) been developing the most awesome theory of collective action, which in one foul swoop, delivers immediate answers to the Carbon Crisis, the Jobs Crisis, and the World Financial Melt-Down.

I call it the Carbon Rationing Assessment Protocol scheme.

Here's how it works, and if anyone can see any down-side, or poke any holes in it, please let me know ASAP. I'm sniffing huge grant money, here....

A simple and elegant scheme to achieve three major societal goals:

1. Effective reduction of carbon pollution, as opposed to “cap and trade” schemes which do not effectively reduce anything;
2. Creation of numerous new full-time employment opportunities; and
3. Insulating deserving, low-carbon citizens from the global financial fall-out, as well as the costs of Carbon Equilisation.

It is what I call my Carbon Rationing Assessment Protocol, and how it works is simple (and elegant!).

Firstly, consider your Medicare card. Everybody has one, and it is a de-facto identity card (just don’t tell anyone, mmmmm’O.K.?)

The Medicare card is the key to my Carbon Rationing Assessment Protocol scheme. Obviously a lot of research is needed (jobs! jobs! jobs!), but the Medicare card represents the members of your direct family.

If you are single, there is one name on the card, and it (should) doesn’t appear on any other Medicare card. If you are a couple, then you each get a card, with different suffix numbers beside your prime number. And so on.

The key part of the Carbon Rationing Assessment Protocol scheme is to allocate a specific tonnage of Carbon pollution to each individual person, irrespective of age, race or creed. Let’s say 50 tonnes per annum, per person. Research = jobs! jobs! jobs!, as you know.

A family of four would then have access to 200 tonnes of Carbon Credits (“CC”s) per annum.

Every retailer would be required to provide a “carbon footprint” (“CF”) of each article sold. Californian Naval Oranges might have a CF of 520g per Kg (as they are an imported luxury item), whilst local sour Valencia oranges may have a CF of only 120g per Kg.

Just imagine the job creation in Coles/Woolworths/Aldi just to set up and maintain the CF ratings! New Laws = jobs! jobs! jobs!, you know!

When you get to the checkout, every item’s CF is added up, and you swipe your Medicare card, and select the person or persons who are going to be deducted the CC’s for this shopping trip, which might amount to 3 tonnes.

You then go to fill up your Prius on the way home, and when you go in to pay for the 50 litres of petrol, you have to hand over your Medicare card. This is an easy calculation, because it is pure mathematics. Every litre of petrol generates 2.34 kilograms of Carbon Pollution (“CP”). Ching! Ching! Select someone from your Medicare card to be deducted 117 Kg of CC’s.

You get home, and find your electricity bill in the mailbox. It will no doubt already have some assessment of your CF. Ching! Ching! Another 4 tonnes goes from a family member’s CC account.

There’s a knock on the door. “Hello, we are from the Government, and we are here to assess the Carbon Footprint of your house, which will help the Earth.” (jobs! jobs! jobs!, don’t forget!)

These people crawl around your house, measuring the square meterage of concrete, the number of bricks, the amount of mortar, and come up with an expected life of 50 years, and a CF figure of the construction of the house (we all know how cement production is really, really carbon pollution intensive). Therefore, if the CF of the construction of your house was 3,950 tonnes, then its yearly amortisation over its expected life is 79 tonnes per annum. Ching! Ching!

Therefore, when you get your rates notice, or the environmental charge is passed on by your Landlord, you have to deduct 79 tonnes from someone’s Medicare CC account.

You buy a new Prius, because it is 0.034% more energy efficient than last year’s model. It has another impossible to remove sticker on its windscreen which shows its CF. You don’t pay the full CF of 687 tonnes, but you pay a pro-rata with your registration for every year you own it, for a fully amortised expected life-span of 20 years, so Ching! Ching! goes another 34.35 tonnes from someone’s account.

So, well and good, you can see the enormous jobs growth potential, as every single thing has to be measured for its Carbon Footprint, and charged accordingly, on a “user pays” basis.

Now, here comes the elegant beauty of my Carbon Rationing Assessment Protocol scheme:

Suppose someone voluntarily reduces their family’s CF, by:

(a) living in a mobile home, caravan park, or even more laudable, a recycled 40’ transport container.;
(b) is not connected to the power grid, and has cold showers once a fortnight, cooks Spam and marshmallows on a dung (and you know where that comes from!) fire;
(c) owns a 20+ year old shitbox, which is not even registered anyway; and
(d) refuses to work, thus eliminating the carbon pollution of travelling to and from work, washing and ironing clothes, and spending money on holidays (because every day is a holiday!).

They will receive exactly the same Carbon Rationing Assessment Protocol value, of 50 tonnes per person, so with the eight kids (but no “partner” of sufficient duration to appear on a Medicare card) this will allow a CC account of 450 tonnes per annum.

As a result of their voluntary reduction of the family’s CF, it is expected (lots more research needed here = jobs! jobs! jobs!) that they will have a CC credit at the end of the year of, say, 350 tonnes.

What they can do is trot along to their local Medicare office at the end of the year, and put their excess CC’s up for sale, through the under-utilised Medicare computer system, or else through a private broker (jobs! jobs! jobs!) who might pay them a reduced market price to provide immediate payment and gratification.

Finally, someone who exceeds their family’s CC limit, will be unable to purchase any food, petrol, electricity, or anything like that, so they will either (a) starve in darkness whilst being evicted from their house, or (b) buy CC’s from someone who has put their excess CC’s on the market, at whatever the market rates might be (jobs! jobs! jobs!).

It would take an enormous effort to administer all of this (jobs! jobs! jobs!), but at the end of the day, it would be an elegant, simple, an equitable means of ensuring that everyone paid fairly and squarely for their carbon pollution.

Carbon Dioxide CAUSES Ice Age!!!

2009-01-03T17:37:00.004+10:00

Take this, you denialist scum-sucking arse-licking paedophile conservatives:

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/earth/environment/climatechange/4061092/Greenhouse-gases-could-have-caused-an-ice-age-claim-scientists.html

Climate Scientists, in a peer reviewed article, have indisputably proven that the approaching New Ice Age is as a direct result of excess Carbon Dioxide in the atmosphere.

All of you denialist scum, you murdering freaks, who have been hollering the lack of warming, now you can eat your own vomit!

Excessive CO2 reflects sunlight, and thereby causes global cooling. Which is precisely what we are now potentially experiencing. All of you denialist Gaia-raping scum have crowed about the so-called COOLING after 1998..... eat your words, arseholes!

See, it has now been proven that there was a warm atmosphere with a ice-covered planet, which shoots down in flames all of the denialist arguments. All of the arguments, each and every one.

The debate is now officially over.

Kiss my butt, climate criminals!

Ho! ho! Ho! Have a Guilt-Ridden Christmas!

2008-12-24T12:04:00.002+10:00

For all you enviro-vandals who put on a family (or community, or like-minded) feast at this time of the year, you are contributing to the destruction of the environment!

See: http://www.abc.net.au/news/stories/2008/12/24/2454262.htm?section=justin

A very "merry" Christmas, Gaia Rapists! I hope you choke on a bone.

A Third of the World's Species to Die!!

2008-10-02T19:22:00.007+10:00

Shocking news from a three-day conference at a Florida resort - sponsored by the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission - by the end of this century, a third of all species on Earth will die off.

Money quote: "Climate change threatens to kill off up to a third of the planet's species by the end of the century if urgent action isn't taken to restore fragile ecosystems, protect endangered animals and manage growth, scientists warned Wednesday as a wildlife summit opened."

I wonder what happens to these poor creatures between summer and winter, or even night and day: "Experts noted that many plants and animals have temperature-specific habitats. A change of only a few degrees can kill them or send them seeking a better home."

"Send them seeking a better home?" Christ, it's as if they are talking about trailer-park trash from New Orleans!

Here's the story, from the Seattle Times:

http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/nationworld/2008220828_apclimatechangewildlife.html

Let's all hope that sensible leadership will give humanity what it deserves.

Finally scientifically proven - Global Warming causes hurricanes!

2008-09-04T21:15:00.007+10:00

Here we are, in the midst of the most intense hurricane bombardment of the eastern coast of the United States, and until now, no-one has linked the dots!

More CO2 means more Global Warming, which means more hurricanes. What in Gaia's name don't the deniers see?

The ABC has reported EXPERTS linking the accelerated ice melt in the Arctic to increased hurricane incidence - a causual link that has always been poo-poohed by the deniers.

Here is the story: http://www.abc.net.au/news/stories/2008/09/04/2355478.htm?section=justin

The money quote:

"He says climate models suggest the most severe changes will take place in the highest northern latitudes, as a starting point for more substantial changes throughout the rest of the planet.
That means more hurricanes, cyclones and floods."

Kaboom sez:

Why can't people see that these continual deadly hurricanes crashing into the East Coast of the USA, and causing quintillions of dollars of damage, are directly caused by our profligate emission of CO2 into the atmosphere. For Gaia's sake, we are all going to suffocate, if we don't die earlier from hurricanes.

Gaia Almighty, these deniers should be held accountable.

Sea level to rise by 4 metres this century!

2008-08-22T20:26:00.013+10:00

OMFG, this is really, really serious stuff.

Peer-reviewed scientists have made a presentation at the Coast to Coast Collaboration Conference in sunny Darwin, Northern Territory. Renowned scientists such as Barbara Norman from RMIT University's Global Cities Research Institute have warned the Australian Government that: (money quote)

"Ms Norman says it is not logical for local governments across the country to develop their own coastal planning policies and a national approach is needed.
Scientists are predicting more that half-a-million residences could be washed away as sea levels may rise by up to four metres by the end of the century.
Ms Norman is calling on the Federal Government to implement a buffer zone along the Australian coastline."

Source: http://www.abc.net.au/news/stories/2008/08/21/2341936.htm

At last - an empirical projection that can be easily measured and monitored!

Four metres this century of sea-level rise..... that's four metres for the 92 years remaining in this century.

Four metres in 92 years is, ummm... ummm... 2 metres in 46 years, ummm... 1 metre every 23 years, ummm..... 100mm every 2.3 years, ummm.... that's 43.5 mm per year! Holy Starving Polar Bears, Batman!

Now we can finally gauge the impact of global warming! We can measure it, and peer reviewed scientists like Barbara Morgan will be vindicated in only a matter of a couple of years.

No need to wait around for fifty or a hundred years to see if there is any global warming effect - no, now we can measure it in as little as a year or two!

Once those in Government see the sea levels rising inexorably by 50 mm every one year and two months, they will have to do something - no-one could possibly deny the effects of global warming then!

Kaboom sez: Here is the proof we have been praying for!!!!1!1!!

Global Warming brings more violence to Melbourne!

2008-08-09T12:16:00.003+10:00

Tempers fray, the skin itches, and the desire to punch the lights out of someone increases dramatically as the temperature increases.

With AGW, the temperature is set to increase, and that means that me, you, everybody - suffering from the heat effects, will immediately lash out and punch or maim our fellow suffering humans.

Latest report from The Age is sourced at: http://www.theage.com.au/national/violence-to-rise-as-city-gets-hotter-20080808-3sen.html

Money quote: "The report also says Victorian police acknowledge the need to prepare for increased violence in hotter conditions.
"Studies and anecdotal reports indicate a correlation between violence and anti-social behaviour and high temperatures. Rising temperatures are expected to exacerbate this effect," it says.
"Victorian police have commented that they are needing to consider the operational implications of hotter conditions, including increased violence and security concerns."

Kaboom sez: Given the proclivity for Victorian Police to shoot first, ask questions later, maybe we need to also look at AGW awareness training and psychological assessments of every serving officer carrying heat (no pun intended) in Victoria.

South Pacific Olympians in Danger!

2008-08-09T11:43:00.004+10:00

This might be the first and last Olympics for athletes from Tuvalu, Kiribati and Nauru, Pacific Islands whose shores are being encroached by higher and higher oceans, all as a result of Anthropogenic Global Warming.

Planet Ark reports: "For a handful of South Pacific athletes it may be now or never to take part in the Olympics because rising seas levels are causing their tiny island nations to sink and maybe one day disappear."
Source: http://www.planetark.com/dailynewsstory.cfm/newsid/49714/story.htm

Kaboom sez: "That sea-level off the reef at Tuvalu looks bally high, doesn't it?"

Makes you wonder how their Marathon Olympians train properly, given the land area.

No News is Good News!

2008-07-28T20:14:00.005+10:00

Or so I thought.

But now, we have the Environmental Justice Climate Change Initiative reporting on the economic effects of rampant Climate Change upon those who can least afford it:
http://news.medill.northwestern.edu/washington/news.aspx?id=95563

Money (or lack of money) quote: “While it’s an issue that affects all of us, like many other social justice issues, it is disproportionately affecting African-Americans, other people of color, low-income people and indigenous communities.”

Kaboom sez: It's just so terrible that the rich whitey bastards are relentlessly using up the world's natural resources, so that they can sit back and watch the starving poor die before their eyes on their giant plasma screens.

It's not going to take much for the starving poor to rise up and take what is justifiably theirs - a la Katrina.

This is a job for both the Black Horse of Famine, and the Pale Horse of Death.

Ocean turning to Acid, and Coral Reefs will Die!

2008-07-23T18:13:00.006+10:00

Our coral reefs will cease to exist as early as 2050, very recent studies have concluded. The absorption of carbon from the atmosphere by the oceans is directly causing them to turn to acid, which fries away the coral polyps, and prevents any coral reefs being breeding grounds for fish.

The report from the 11th International Coral Reef Symposium (ICRS) in Fort Lauderdale, Florida, is found at: http://www.straightgoods.ca/ViewFeature8.cfm?REF=405

Read the whole report. "Coral reefs support about 25 to 33 percent of the oceans' living creatures. Some one billion people depend directly and indirectly on reefs for their livelihoods. Sea birds and many species of fish would be affected by the loss of reefs."

A billion people. A sixth of the Earth's population put on the scrapheap as a result of the selfishness of West. Think about it - a BILLION people.

The rate of turning the oceans to acid is just unbelievable: "The oceans naturally absorb carbon from the atmosphere but because of human emissions they are absorbing more and more. This additional carbon has altered the oceans' chemistry, making them 25 to 30 percent more acidic. Each day, the oceans absorb 30 million tonnes of CO2, gradually and inevitably increasing their acidity, and leaving less calcium carbonate in the water for corals and shell-form species like phytoplankton to grow or maintain their skeletons. "

The oceans are turning 20% to 30% more acidic!

Money Quote: "Most corals begin to die when ocean temperatures increase by more than 2.0 degrees C and that is likely to happen under nearly all future carbon emission scenarios before 2100. Detailed computer models show that all corals will suffer severe bleaching in one to five years. "

Kaboom sez: We have got to take action now to completely stop this - we have ONLY between ONE and FIVE years to stop severe coral bleaching!

Again, I lead out the Pale Horse of Death - death for coral, and death to the billion people directly or indirectly relying upon coral reefs for their sustenance.

We are all rooted in 100 months!

2008-07-21T19:24:00.005+10:00

The New Economics Foundation in the United Kingdom points out that we will suffer "uncontrollable global warming" in 100 months from August, 2008.

100 months! That's, like, umm ..... 8 years and four months, or by December, 2017!

Of course, our elected leaders are still hand-wringing and posturing in front of microphones, while this clear and present danger is set to unfold. From BBC World News: http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/science/nature/7513415.stm

The money quote: "New and cautious calculations by the New Economics Foundation's (NEF) climate change programme suggest that we may have as little as 100 months starting from August 2008 to avert uncontrollable global warming. "

Kaboom sez: Clearly, we all need to do something, even if we have to temporarily suspend democracy and elections. Action is required RIGHT NOW! Immediate, painful ACTION!

For Gaia's sake, how much more warning do the sheep need, that they are being lead towards the slaughterhouse.

I don't even know what Horse of the Apocalypse to file this under - maybe all of them!

Incredibly Stupid Ideas (Part 1)

2008-07-21T18:25:00.006+10:00

Apart from the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse, I would like to highlight on this Blog the incredibly stupid ideas that so-called "scientists" come up with to deal with the Carbon Dioxide menace - apart from the obvious solution, of reducing carbon useage to ZERO!

From time to time, you see some blatantly cretanous ideas put forth by idiots like Professor Tim Flannery, renowned climatologist and 2007 Australian Of The Year, who some months ago proposed pumping sulphur into the atmosphere, in order to achieve some sort of "global dimming". The only "dim" bulb is Flannery, who is the intellectual equivalent of a 1/2 watt CFC for suggesting that rubbish.

This Blog's purpose is only to observe and report on new AGW issues, so unfortunately I cannot revisit Flannery's idiocy.

However, I can and will report on new stupidity. Like this - straight from the "Society of Chemical Industry": http://www.eurekalert.org/pub_releases/2008-07/soci-ado071808.php

The money quote: "We think it's a promising idea,' says Shell's Gilles Bertherin, a coordinator on the project. 'There are potentially huge environmental benefits from addressing climate change – and adding calcium hydroxide to seawater will also mitigate the effects of ocean acidification, so it should have a positive impact on the marine environment."

Kaboom sez: Can you believe that these clowns are actually suggesting digging up limestone, crushing and COOKING it to produce lime, and then infesting the seawater with it, in the forlorn belief that it will act like God's freaking gas-mask and literally suck carbon out of the atmosphere?

Jesus Christ on a biofuel moped! What friggin' idiots! What part of "ZERO carbon footprint" do they fail to comprehend?

Desmond Tutu: 185 Million Africans Will Die

2008-07-19T08:59:00.004+10:00

Archbishop Desmond Tutu, Nobel Laureate and climatologist, is quoted by Ecorazzi.com:
http://www.ecorazzi.com/2008/07/18/desmond-tutu-developed-countries-caused-global-warming/

From the quoted article: "Tutu said that businessmen who take flights instead of using video conferencing are sentencing the poor people of the world to death, and that up to 185 million Africans would die this century because of climate change."

Kaboom: Thank Gaia for brave souls like the Very Reverend Desmond Tutu, who exposes the Malthusian effects of wealthy people flying all over the world to resorts like Bali, Coopenhagen, and other beautiful places, rather than videoconferencing.

185 million deaths directly attribtable to Global Climate Change by the end of this century? The Pale Horse of Death gets yet another ride.

Off the Grid Solar Power

2008-07-18T19:19:00.011+10:00

My Significant Life Partner has been busy constructing a solar array for our yurt, so that we can achieve our dream of finally severing ourselves from the carbon polluting electricity grid.

The solar array comes in a kit from China, and the instructions are a bit difficult to understand. My SLP came across the following warnings - as far as I can establish, when they say "generator" they actually mean "inverter", which of course converts the storage battery power to 240V household power.

Given that the Chinese clearly want to Burn Up The Planet (along with the Indians), could this be a cunning Oriental plot?

Can anyone help in the translation? (Click on image for larger picture)

Biofuels are not the answer

2008-07-18T17:31:00.007+10:00

The concentration upon the production of Biofuels is directly causing a possible famine in Africa, according to IPPmedia of Tanzania: http://ippmedia.com/ipp/observer/2008/07/13/118390.html

IPP says: "And since the latest crises- oil, food and climate- the buzz word has been biofuels. Developed countries are in the forefront to promote biofuels as a solution to the oil crisis and, to some extent, the food crisis. However some people have a different view all together. They argue that biofuel policies as propounded by rich countries are neither a solution to the climate nor oil crisis and instead they are compounding a third crisis the food crisis."

The carbon-hungry Western World is exporting its need for fuel stock (i.e. Biofuels) to the poor food producing Third World nations, causing a significant food shortage which will lead to famine.

IPP goes on to report: "In the meantime, the most serious costs of these policies deepening poverty and hunger, environmental degradation and accelerating climate change are being dumped on developing countries," says a recent publication by Oxfam International.

Kaboom: This is an utter disgrace. Don't the morons in the West realise that "Biofuels" ALSO produce carbon dioxide, which is suffocating our planet? What is wrong with these people?

I heartily concur with those who propose a "war crimes" tribunal to convict and sentence those who perpetrate these crimes against humanity.

Carbon squandering FUEL over PEOPLE? No way!

Behold the Black Horse, of Famine.

Clinton: "India and China can burn up the planet"

2008-07-17T21:00:00.013+10:00

Not Hillary Clinton, the recent putative Democratic Presidential Contender nominee, but her husband the Almost First Gentleman, Bill, according to Newsmax recently: http://www.newsmax.com/insidecover/clinton_climate_change/2008/07/15/113106.html

Bill Clinton has weighed into the debate with all cigars fired up: "If India and China and the other emerging economies don't join in some sort of limitation, then they can burn up the planet,” he says"

Without getting into the definition of what "is" really is, Statesman (and former President) Bill Clinton obviously has the climatic depth of experience in order to identify the climate criminals once and for all - India and China!

Burning up the planet is a pretty serious commercial outcome, and it will affect EVERYBODY. The Chinese-Indians are only 33% of the planet's population, yet they intend to burn it up without consulting the remaining 66%??? You must be joking.

Bill Clinton has his head screwed, on properly. His advisors in matters climatic would no doubt include his former Vice President (and noted climatologist and Nobel Laureate) Al Gore, so who are we to doubt The Message.

The Message is simple: China and India are going to burn up the planet, leading to the immediate consequential deaths of over 25,000 Polar Bears, trillions of other species, and probably 6 billion humans.

Yes! I can now lead out the Pale Horse - Death....

Mental Illness a direct result of Climate Fears!

2008-07-17T13:47:00.004+10:00

The New Scientist Environment Blog recently reported on the worldwide neo-con response to a poor lad's diagnosed illness: http://www.newscientist.com/blog/environment/2008/07/patient-suffered-from-climate-change.html?DCMP=ILC-hmts&nsref=specrt16_head_Climate%20

A worthwhile read, especially the New Scientist's conclusion: "Of course, this case might just illustrate something that climate change deniers may be anxious to deny: in many parts of the world, concerns about climate change are no longer limited to a small group of professionals, but are a societal concern that is widespread enough to become part of 17-year-old's delusions."

Kaboom: The longer we fail to act to reduce our carbon pollution to zero, the more cases of consequent mental illness will afflict humanity.

The time to act is now!

Kidney Stones set to increase!!

2008-07-17T13:06:00.005+10:00

The Ottowa Citizen (our friends in environmentally-sensitive Canada) reports that global warming is going to cause an increasing occurrence of kidney stones: http://www.canada.com/ottawacitizen/news/story.html?id=0ce5b43d-df85-4c45-af62-9b38eee8df67

Ouch! Those bastards really can be a pain in the arse!

How can this be linked to AGW (Anthroponegenic Global Warming)?

The report from the Ottowa Citizen notes that "One of the first direct impacts that global warming has on our health may hit us where it hurts: In the kidneys.

People will develop more kidney stones in a hotter climate, because the heat tends to make us dehydrated and that causes the stones to form, two Texas urologists say.

Drs. Margaret Peale and Yair Lotan of the University of Texas say there's already a "kidney stone belt" in the hot, humid U.S. southeast, stretching from Louisiana to Florida and north to Tennessee."

Well, we all know how dumb those Crackers in the Bible-belt of the USA tend to be, and becoming dehydrated in the approaching Armageddon of Global Warming is more likely to spread the affliction of kidney stones into many kidney stone-free areas.

Ottowa Citizen: "Expect that belt to move north with the warmer climate, increasing kidney stone rates outside today's belt by 30 per cent by 2050, they say in a paper published today in Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences. "

Kaboom: This is a significant "plague-like" health risk which is set to expand dramatically with the irreversible onset of AGW, and I'm logging this post under the "White Horse" of Pestilence.

I have decided to utilise the "Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse" to differentiate between the many different scientifically proven and peer-reviewed consequences of AGW, being the White Horse of Pestilence, the Red Horse of War, the Black Horse of Famine, and the Pale Horse of Death.

Unfortunately, without immediate concerted action, this analogy bleakly sums up our future....

Welcome to the CCCP Blog!

2008-07-17T11:43:00.007+10:00

A warm welcome to readers of this new Blog.

By way of explanation, a raison d'etre if you will, I intend to show all of the recent and growing body of evidence of the scientifically indisputable consequences of carbon pollution.

I don't intend to become embroiled in the scientific technical issues surrounding Anthropogenic Global Warming (AGW), as these issues have been scientifically settled for decades - the debate is OVER, people!

What I am attempting to do is gather current peer-reviewed scientific conclusions (which means they are beyond dispute), in an easy to understand format - after all, most of us are not climate scientists! In other words, I will be posting links and commentary upon the scientifically proven effects of Anthropogenic Global Warming from various sources, in order to show the future we face in the absence of decisive action.

As members of humanity, we all have a role to play in reducing our carbon footprints to zero.

A significant part of our humanitarian role is to spread the word amongst friends, families and work colleagues, and convince them to join in this fight for our very survival.

I hope that the enlightened Government of Mr Kevin Rudd (our Prime Minister) will take up a similar re-educational challenge as soon as possible, but in the meantime, the task falls upon Bloggers like me to get the scientifically indisputable message out there.

Remember - think local, act global!