Sunday, August 2, 2009

50,000 new Green jobs!

Our Dear Leader, Kevin Rudd P.M., has unveiled a plan to create more than 50,000 new Green jobs:

"The new $94 million jobs package will be made up of around 30,000 trainee and apprentice positions concentrating on "green skills" in building and construction; 10,000 jobs in a new National Green Jobs Corp; 6,000 local green jobs through the jobs fund, and the 4,000 people already working in the housing insulation program."

"The climate change sceptics constantly scare-monger about the possible loss of jobs through the transition of a lower carbon economy," he said.

"But they constantly fail to talk about the new clean energy jobs of the future which will arise from the introduction of the Carbon Pollution Reduction Scheme."

As always, Kaboom stands ready to help Dear Leader save our planet. Here, Kaboom "value-adds" the jobs potential of the Green Revolution five-fold, by a simple example:

Behold! Kaboom's "Greenshaw"!

The concept is both simple and elegant (as usual), and the five-fold employment opportunities are as follows:-

  1. When the petrol runs out because of Peak Oil, or because it has become so expensive that no-one besides environmental consultants can afford it, there will be millions of useless old "clunkers" (like the MINI Cooper S shown above) lying around rusting. Not only that, but there will be billions of people walking to work. The first employment opportunity will be for someone to cut these hulks of a past epoch in half, using carbon-friendly tools such as a hack-saw.
  2. Next, someone will be employed to smooth off the rough hacksawed edges, fabricate by hand the steps, and ensure that the end product meets all necessary safety requirements.
  3. Another person will be employed to remove the air-bags from the old clunkers, and insert these devices into the rear compartments used for the Greenshaw.
  4. Another person will be employed to hand fabricate (using recycled materials, NOT wood) the carrying frame of the Greenshaw.
  5. Finally, and most importantly, someone with the innate strength and green-savvy to pull the Greenshaw.

As you can see, by using a bit of Green ingenuity, we can massively redeploy employment to cure major social problems of (1) unwanted cars, (2) people having to walk, and (3) unemployment.

As we greenies like to say, "A win-win situation!"


Ayrdale said...

Kaboom ! Australasia leads the way...again.

Please see

Anonymous said...

It would work. Definitely. Please consider options for mass public transport too.
I have never driven, despise cars as hot beds of lust, so prefer to travel by bus. Preferably crowded, I like to feel the crush of people next to me. So, what do think of the chances of applying your principle to all the big old Bedford buses that my alternative lifestyle friends travel the country in ? One person on her own couldn't shift one of course, she'd need 20 or so helpers, but wouldn't it be something to travel to the cooperative lentil factory in a Bedford pulled by fit, strong young ladies, all singing together ! A good song would be a speeded up version of Kumbaya, and in really hot weather they'd work up quite a bit of a sweat and lather. I'd want to stand up the front and

Halfwise said...

It will be even more effective if the person providing the motive force is prohibited from exhaling those deadly CO2 fumes.